


Things Not Forgotten

by Sunshinecowger



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Children, Death, Divorce, Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Marriage, Pain, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Separations, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29312808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshinecowger/pseuds/Sunshinecowger
Summary: When Marcus files for divorce, a judge steps in and requires a week of marriage counseling.It will bring back pains that never healed, memories of a couple that was once young and in love, and moments that could never be forgotten.
Relationships: Abby Griffin & Marcus Kane, Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane
Comments: 44
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally published a few years ago under the title, 'Do you remember at all?'
> 
> I am bringing it back, chapter by chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter One

Abby knew she would be seeing Marcus, she didn't know how to feel about it. It had been at least a month since she last saw him. 

They had a schedule now, she dropped the kids off at school every day, he picked them up. When Abby showed up to get them from his house, he sent them out without so much as stepping on the porch, he didn't want to see her and she knew that. It broke her heart as did everything else that was Marcus Kane.

Abby flew in from Detroit where she had spent three days for a medical seminar. Marcus flew in from Arkadia. Neither one of them wanted to do this and yet the judge ordered it so here they were. Abby's cab pulled up in front of the hotel. She paid the driver and took then took her bags into the hotel, almost immediately she spotted Marcus and froze.

Marcus's head was down towards the phone in his hand, his back was to the rock wall behind him. In front of him a small dark table with roses sitting in a small vase. He was breathtaking but wasn't he always? Wasn't that what had first drawn her to him? He sat there in a grey t-shirt, his dark thick wavy hair. Without realizing just how handsome he was, Marcus slid his hand through his hair. Abby stared at him, wondering how everything had gotten so bad.

This was the man who used to not be able to sleep unless she was by his side and now this was the man who had filed for divorce. This was the man who cried happy tears when they found out they were pregnant with their very first child, the man who held her hand as she went into labor and the man who couldn't stop smiling in the first few hours following Bellamy's birth and now he was the man who didn't so much as want to look at her.

So, instead, she just stared with a bit of jealousy as two women walked by and openly gaped at him. Jealous because he had every right to go off with them if he wanted to and yet she noticed how he just sat there enthralled with his phone. Abby wondered if he was texting with a woman. He would have every right and somehow just the thought of it crushed her. He was still her husband and she still loved him.

Marcus felt eyes on him and looked up, there was Abby, he could see her through the vase of roses. Her long cinnamon-colored hair over her right shoulder as she stood in a red dress that hugged every perfect curve. He used to love showing her off, not because she was a trophy but because she was his wife. How many times had they walked in somewhere with his hand riding her hip, as she fit easily into his side? He was so sure it would always stay that way, certainly, they would never be torn apart, and of course, she would always love him. Yet, Marcus had been wrong, so completely wrong. Would he ever recover? He wasn't sure. Her eyes on him as his eyes moved over her. It took everything he had to look away. Marcus stood up and tugged his dark suitcase behind him. He walked to her without looking at her.  
"They wouldn't let me check-in without you. We have to share a room, luckily it's a suite so hopefully, there are two beds in it."

"Ok." What other response could she have given? 

He headed back to the check-in counter. A young man standing there who clearly was eyeing Abby. Marcus had to remind himself that it was none of his business what Abby did and did it with.

"How can I help you?"

The question annoyed Marcus. This was the same man who helped him thirty minutes before.,"I need to check-in for the marriage therapy."

The man looked over at Abby., "Is this your lovely wife?"

Abby swallowed hard and looked at Marcus.  
"She was."

The man behind the counter smiled uncomfortably., "Your name please."

"Marcus and Abigail Kane."

"Great, you are in suite 505. Just sign here." Marcus signed the paperwork and was given two card keys. Marcus handed one to Abby, their fingers touching all too briefly as he quickly pulled his hand away.

They walked in silence to the elevator, Abby pushed floor five and then they stayed quiet as the metal box took them up to the fifth floor. Marcus put his key in the door and waited as the red light went to green. There was one bedroom in the suite which meant only one bed.

Marcus let out a small groan., "I'll sleep on the couch, you can take the room."

"Thank you."

She began to unpack. She had spent more than she should have on new clothes, she still wanted Marcus to think she was beautiful. He used to tell her all the time. The last time he had told her was as she sat on their bed while wearing pajamas. Abby felt her heart began to shatter as she thought about, she missed him. Every single day she missed him. Only it was too late, he had told her more than once that there wasn't a chance and that there would never be a chance again, and still to this day it hurt.

Marcus put his stuff in the hall closet, hung up his shirts, left three different pairs of shoes on the floor of the closet. He took out a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. Their first meeting with the counselor was set up for nine in the morning. He went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, he just wanted to go to sleep and not think about the woman he had once loved more than anything and how she would be sleeping in nothing more than a t-shirt and underwear in the next room.

Abby put on a robe before walking out to where Marcus was sitting on the couch in the dark.

"I just need to grab some water."

Marcus pointed to the shelf., "Right there."

Abby nodded in response., "Thank you."

She reached out and grabbed a water bottle before turning. His dark eyes on her. A chill ran through her.

"Goodnight Marcus."

"Goodnight Abby."

There was a time he would have pulled her onto his lap and told her not to go to bed without him.  
Abby felt the tears sting as she shut the door, leaving her husband on the other side.

To be continued


	2. Meeting Jaha

Chapter Two

Marcus's back hurt when he woke up, the couch was less than comfy. He stretched out his back before walking around in the suite. He knew that Abby had shut the door, even now he could recall how it had clicked when she closed it. However, now it was sitting open. Abby was asleep on her stomach; he couldn't help but stare in at her as she softly snored. Of course, she was only in underwear and a t-shirt, he had suspected as much and quite truthfully, he wouldn't have had to look in on her to know that was the exact position that he would find her.

The moon cast just enough light so that he could look over her uncovered skin. He shouldn't be watching her, shouldn't let his eyes run over the spot where underwear met skin. How many times had his mouth traveled up her leg until he got to the smooth roundness of her backside? How many times had he gripped her hips while his teeth gently sank into her? And how many times did she moan his name as he did it? He shook his head and stared down at the floor, he told himself to walk away because, in the end, it didn't matter how attracted to her, he was. What mattered was the damage that had been done.

Marcus forced himself to walk away, to head back to the lonely couch where he couldn't suck the back of someone's neck or know that the hardness in his pants would soon be taken care of. No, that wasn't an option anymore.

Instead, he sat on the couch and put the heels of his palms against his eye sockets, and rubbed.

Abby woke up to the alarm, she was still tired, downright exhausted. Sleep had not come easily last night.  
It had been too easy to remember the times when they had been happy. Last night Abby's mind had drifted back to when he would offer to rub her back.  
Only the second his warm and calloused hands touched her, she grew warm. It wasn't long before she was telling him that she was in pain in other places.  
Marcus would laugh that deep sexy laugh before he gave into her. Indeed, she would sleep well after that. Abby wondered if there was any part of Marcus that missed her too.

"There's coffee if you want some.", He said the words as he rubbed the back of his neck. When he saw her watching, he dropped his hand and turned from her.  
"Thank you for making it, Marcus."  
He shrugged before grabbing his clothes and heading to the bathroom., "No problem."

They were quiet as they headed to the room on the first floor. They didn't sit side by side as they waited to be called in. No, instead they sat across the room from each other. Once again Marcus was staring down at his phone.  
Abby was nudged by the woman next to her. An older woman only by about ten years. Abby looked over at her, the woman was looking across the room.  
"That is a good-looking man, I wouldn't mind some husband swapping right about now."  
Abby's mouth fell open., "The man in the black t-shirt?"  
The woman smiled., "Yes, the man in the black t-shirt with hair that looks like it was blessed by God's."  
"That man is my husband.", Abby was staring at the woman who smirked.  
"Doesn't look like he will be your husband for long if you are sitting all the way over here."  
She knew the woman was right and still it hurt to hear. When the young, blond receptionist stepped out of the large double doors, Abby stared at her.  
"Mr. and Mrs. Marcus Kane?"  
Only then did the estranged couple look at one another. Marcus dropped his eyes and walked towards the young woman who smiled at both of them.  
"Right this way."  
They followed her into an impressive office.  
"Please have a seat, Dr. Jaha will be right with you."  
"Thank you."  
They both said it as the woman walked out the door. Abby smoothed out her multi-colored sundress and sat down. Marcus stayed quiet as he sat in the chair next to her.

Several minutes passed before Jaha finally walked in.  
"Good morning. I was out on the lake this morning, have you guys had a chance to visit it yet?"  
"No.", They both answered as Jaha came to a stop in front of them.  
"I am Jaha. Don't add doctor in front of it, it makes me sound bigger than I am."  
He flashed a perfect smile at them as he shook their hands. Jaha moved to a chair across the room in front of a couch.  
"This is a marriage situation so come on over."  
Marcus and Abby both moved to the small couch. They sat on either end of the couch. Jaha took notice of that as he placed a yellow notepad on his lap.  
"I have not looked over your questionnaire yet. I will tell you why. I like to meet a couple before that and go from there. I watched you guys for about ten minutes before I came in. I can see that you guys are in a tough place. However, judging by all the stolen glances it seems to me that there could still be a lot to fight for here. I am going to ask a few questions and then I will give you guys your couple schedule for the day."  
Marcus cocked his head and stared at the man., "Couple schedule?"  
Jaha smiled.," Yes, Marcus. The couple schedule."  
Marcus looked from the doctor to Abby and then back at the doctor.  
"I under no circumstances will spend time with this woman."  
Abby's eyes shot to him., "There was a time you begged me to spend my days with you."  
He stared at the woman that he knew would soon be his ex-wife.  
"Well, that time has long since passed has it not?", he said this while his eyes bore into hers.   
She looked hurt and he forced himself to look at the doctor.  
"Well, I can send a letter to the judge and let him know that you are not helping in this matter."  
Marcus leaned back into the couch., "Fine."  
Abby sat with the back of one hand covering her mouth, already the emotions feeling like too much.  
"So, let's get started with the questions. Abby, let's start with you. Tell me about the first time you met your husband."  
She was quiet for a long moment before she suddenly began to speak.  
"I was working at a bar. I was bartending. I was mixing drinks when I saw him walk in with three other guys. He was easily the best-looking one out of the group, well, in the entire bar. He came up and ordered drinks, always from me. He asked me my name and then asked what time I would be off. I was almost done so I told him I would bring his drinks to him. It was frowned upon to hang out with the customers but when he asked if he could buy me a drink I said yes."  
Jaha nodded and then looked at Marcus., "Is that how you remember it?"  
Marcus nodded slowly., "That is the exact way I remember it."  
"Marcus, how quickly did you fall in love with Abigail?"  
"Abby, she goes by Abby."  
"My apologies.", Jaha nodded towards Abby who gave a halfhearted smile.  
"I knew I loved her a couple of weeks later."  
"And why did you fall in love with her?"  
Marcus crossed his arms over his chest as he thought back, "She worked hard to get through medical school, she was funny, sweet and she looked at me like she felt the same way."  
"Did you tell her right away that you loved her?"  
Marcus only shook his head no in response.  
"Abby, when did you know you loved Marcus?"  
"I got sick, a really bad cold. He showed up with soup, bread, and my favorite coffee. I probably loved him before that but it was that moment that solidified it."  
"Good you both responded in ways that show there is hope. Here is the plan for today. I will see you guys again tonight. You must do everything on the list every day. There will be changes to each schedule, however, meeting with me will always take place. You both will get a copy. Here you are."  
He leaned forward and handed them the papers.

"Day 1

Meet with Jaha: 9:00 - 10:15

Write down your favorite memories from your first year together: 10:30 - 11:00

Talk about your favorite memories from 11:00 - 12:00

Lunch together from: 12:00 - 12:45

Free time: 12:45 - 2:00

Activity time of your choosing in the gym: 2:00 - 3:30

Clean up! 3:30 - 4:30

Date night for our couples: 4:30 - 7:00

Meet back with Jaha: 7:15 - 8:00

End of night: Kiss your spouse good night - take as much time as you want.

"Kissing?"  
Jaha's eyes shot to Abby in response to her question.   
"Yes, Mrs. Kane. You and your husband will need to kiss goodnight each night. We will be discussing it each morning."  
"But he hasn't kissed me in a year."  
Marcus was staring at Jaha.,"She is right, it has been at least a year."  
Jaha smiled and leaned forward in his chair., "Well, then it seems to me that the kiss is long overdue. I hope that you will each look forward to your intimacy tonight."  
Marcus and Abby both sat with their mouths gaping open.  
"I don't know."  
"What don't you know Abby?"  
Jaha was speaking softly to her.  
"I know that he won't kiss me."  
"Then you will have to kiss him."  
She shook her head., "You don't understand."  
"What don't I understand?"  
Her voice began to shake., "He doesn't want to kiss me."  
"Why?"  
"Why doesn't he want to kiss me?"  
"Yes."  
"Because she kissed someone else!"  
Jaha and Abby both looked at Marcus.  
"She kissed someone else?"  
Marcus nodded., "There is no point in talking about it."  
Marcus said it as his eyes drifted down to the paper in his hands.  
"I think there is a point of talking about it. Let me ask you this. Marcus, have you kissed anyone else since you have been separated from your wife?"  
Marcus stayed silent for several seconds while the other two people in the room waited for his response. Abby felt scared, she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer, wasn't sure she could handle it if he had. Not when she had never stopped loving the man next to her. Her heart was beating rapidly as she waited for him to speak.  
"Yes."  
Her heart fell.  
"Yes?", The question came from Abby, not from Jaha. Marcus looked over at her, he looked guilty.  
"Marcus, you kissed someone?", There was no hiding the emotion in her voice as she spoke, he heard it.  
"Yes."  
Abby stared down at the paper as the tears began to fall.  
"You have no right to be upset about this!", Marcus practically spat the words out.   
She nodded as she turned her head so that he wouldn't see her cry.  
"I know.", She barely got the words out.  
"And yet it hurts anyway, is that right Mrs. Kane?"  
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and she tried without much success to speak.  
"Yes."

"Ok, well take all the time you need, Abby, to work out your feelings about the kiss, we can discuss it at our next meeting. In the meantime, get to the second part of your day. I will see you both tonight."

And with that Jaha got up and left.

To be continued


	3. Abandoned

Chapter Three

Marcus and Abby walked quietly to the elevator, neither saying a word as they once again went up to the room. Marcus stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest as they ascended.  
Abby could hardly breathe. All she thought about was another woman pressed against her husband.  
He was correct, Abby had no right to be upset.  
She had no right, no right, no right. It was like a mantra repeated over and over again inside of her head. Yet, her heart was yelling something completely different. This was her husband, the man who she argued with about whose turn it had been to do the dishes. The man who made her crazy when he shaved and didn't clean out the sink, the person who would take her car to the gas station on Sunday nights and fill up her tank just so that she would not have to. Marcus was the man who couldn't wait for one more second as he pushed everything off his desk so that he could lay her on it.  
Now everything was different and another woman knew what it was like to be against him, to be in his arms, to smell his cologne, to hear his moans as he kissed her.   
So, it didn't matter that she wasn't supposed to care because Abby felt angry and jealous and absolutely shattered.  
It would be so much easier if she didn't love him but, damn it, she did! Abby knew that it wouldn't matter how many years had passed and how much distance that he was determined to put between them, she would never stop loving Marcus Kane.  
Marcus opened the door and they walked into their room. As promised, there were papers and pens left on the coffee table so that they could write down their favorite memories from their first year together.  
They sat on opposite ends of the couch as they took on their mission in silence. Only Abby couldn't think of anything else, her mind was on her husband's lips and how someone else knew what it was like to taste him, to moan into him, and to feel his teeth drag her bottom lip through them. Abby wondered if the woman had been half as turned on as Abby would get in those moments with Marcus.

Abby was writing about the enjoyment she felt when they once got stuck under the patio at the park during a sudden rainstorm and how Marcus had put his arms around her to keep her warm. The memory faded as she looked over at him to where he was sitting cross-legged on the couch with the notepad in his lap as he wrote down his own memories. Abby looked him over, him sitting in his faded blue jeans, black boots,  
and t-shirt. He was clean-shaven, a shame really, she had liked the beard. His hair looked soft from being washed that morning, and Abby knew she shouldn't but, in the end, it was as if she couldn't help herself.  
"Was it just a kiss?", her voice was a whisper.   
He heard her; she could tell in the way he tensed up. The way his shoulders got closer to his neck as his eyes stayed glued to the paper that held their memories.  
"Marcus?"  
And in his silence the fear grew within her, she had asked the question because she wanted him to console her by saying it was just a kiss. Yet, there were pieces of her heart that she was sure that not even Marcus could glue back together if he remained silent much longer.  
"Marcus?"  
Her voice cracked, they both heard it. And then slowly, way too slowly her husband looked at her, and then in the end he looked back down at the paper because he couldn't watch her.  
"Abby, I know from experience what you are thinking. I can only tell you that it would be better to forget it."  
His wife was shaking her head; he didn't have to look at her to know. Hadn't their years together proven that he knew each one of her moves?  
"Oh my God...."  
She whispered it.  
"Abby...."  
He was looking at her hands as she wrung them, she was trying to hold it together. Marcus knew she was looking at him and still, he couldn't look into her eyes. He wasn't sure why; he shouldn't have anything to feel guilty for. He left over a year ago, packed his stuff, and found a house to rent. How he chose to spend his time was up to him.  
"Marcus, you slept with her? You did, didn't you? You slept with someone else." The last part was a clear statement and not a question.   
He ran his hands through his hair and he sighed and that was enough for her to know that he had answered the question without saying a single word. Abby gasped as if she was trying to get air that had been deprived of her for too long.  
"Oh my God! Oh my God!"  
She was shaking, her entire body was shaking. Whoever the woman was she didn't just know what it was like to kiss Marcus, she knew what it was like to wrap her legs around him, to feel his mouth on her neck, to see his face when it was shattered by pleasure. Abby wished she could act like it didn't matter but it did. Damn it, he was her husband and she loved him.  
"Abby...You..."  
She glared at him as she stood up quickly.  
"I know, I don't have a right to be upset. I don't have a right to care that you made love to another woman. Why couldn't you just forgive me? Why couldn't you just get over one stupid kiss and forgive me? We could have been happy. We could have had the life we both wanted!"  
Marcus jumped up and faced her, finally looking at her.  
"Don't! Don't do that! You kissed my friend! You kissed Jake Griffin. Do you know what that did to me? How I thought about it over and over?"  
Marcus was shaking, the vein in his head popping out as his eyes grew wide.  
"I couldn't just get over it. What I thought about was that another man's hands were on my wife! I thought about it all the time. I still think about it. You! The woman who stood in front of our family and friends and promised to be faithful! Don't you remember that part?"  
She met his furry.  
"Yes! I remember all of it! I am the one who came to you and told you what happened with Jake. I begged you to forgive me! I begged you and instead, you left! You left me! I didn't leave you. I still wanted you, Marcus! You think I blamed you for everything and I didn't. You left me alone for months before Jake Griffin kissed me. You made me feel like I had to go through all of it alone!"  
He stared at her like she was half insane.  
"Don't bring that up! Leave it alone!"  
"I can't leave it alone because before that we were so happy. We. Were. Happy!"  
He turned so that he wasn't facing her. She didn't stop him as he grabbed a glass and poured himself a scotch. Abby didn't stop him as he finished the glass in one gulp and poured himself another."  
When he spoke, he was speaking with a calm that only the scotch could bring.  
"You make it all seem so easy, Abby. You make it seem like I should just blink and I shouldn't hurt anymore. Not only was I going through a hellish time but then you come to my office in tears and told me that you and Jake kissed."  
He shook his head as if he was in complete disgust. Abby didn't let him off the hook.  
"Right there, Marcus. You keep saying 'I'. How many times do you need to be reminded that you weren't the only one hurting? I was broken too and I needed you. Marcus, I needed you and you abandoned me......"  
"I did no such thing!"  
His voice vibrated off the walls almost scaring her and yet she wouldn't back down.  
"You did. You wouldn't touch me in the slightest. It wasn't just about the fact that you wouldn't have sex with me, Marcus. You wouldn't so much as hold my hand. You wouldn't even hold me. Not even when you walked in and saw me crying on the bathroom floor. No, my husband turned and walked the other way. But you held her, didn't you? You weren't turned off by her."  
"I was never turned off by you! I couldn't hold you, Abby. I couldn't kiss you and I couldn't make love to you because all I saw was that day, that day at the pool. How could I possibly come to you for comfort? I don't want to talk about this anymore."  
"Who was it, Marcus? The woman, who was it?"  
"It doesn't matter."  
"It matters to me."  
"Let it go."  
She shook her head at that.  
"You couldn't let it go when I had one stupid kiss with someone else and yet you slept with another woman and I am supposed to let that go?"  
They stayed quiet for a minute as he took another sip of his scotch. Abby stared at his profile as he stared off at the wall.  
"Oh..."  
He glanced at Abby when he heard her.  
"Do you love her? Is that it?"  
He let out a humorless laugh.  
"No, that isn't it at all."  
"Then why are you hiding it?"  
He turned and looked at her, a flash of anger in his eyes.  
"Diana Sydney."  
Abby gasped, that hurt more than if he had said any other name. The slap knocked him backward the very second Abby's right palm connected to his face. A handprint was already red and swollen on his face. The sobs ripped through her as she ran to the room and slammed the door. Abby collapsed on the floor in a heap as the pain ripped through her. Once again crying alone and knowing that her husband wasn't coming for her.

Marcus threw his glass against the wall, not caring that the sound of glass breaking was loud enough to echo in the hall.  
He fell back against the couch, the image of Abby breaking into a million pieces somehow louder in his mind than the sound of breaking glass.  
There should be no guilt in how he dealt with his pain and loneliness and somehow, he still felt like an asshole.  
Marcus felt guilty for all the times he didn't hold his grieving wife when he should have and he felt guilty for turning his back for one second while his four-year-old daughter drowned in the pool.

To be continued


	4. A Parent's Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two separate people harboring the same pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could be a heavy chapter.

Chapter Four

The knock on the door woke Abby up, she had cried herself to sleep.   
"Mrs. Kane? It's Jaha. Marcus called me."   
It took Abby a long moment to make sense of where she was. "Hang on."   
She pushed back the covers on the bed before climbing out of bed. Abby threw on jeans and a t-shirt; the dress had become far too wrinkled after her sleep. Abby quickly brushed out her hair and brushed her teeth. There wasn't much she could do about her swollen and red eyes. Abby took a deep breath before stepping out of the bedroom. Marcus was sitting on the couch while Jaha sat in the chair that he had positioned in front of the couch.   
Both of the men looked up at her.   
"Abby, your husband called me. I understand that the two of you hashed some stuff out. Why don't you have a seat."   
Abby sat down, pulling her knees up into her chest, something she had always done even as a little girl when she felt somber.   
"Abby, can you tell me about the day that your daughter died?"   
Marcus swallowed hard, not wanting to relive it and he definitely didn't want to hear Abby have to go through it again.   
When Abby spoke, her voice was quiet as her mind drifted back to that warm summer day in July. She glanced at Marcus before looking at Jaha and then down at her hands where they were wrapped around her knees.   
"I had to work and Marcus had the day off. He was going to stay with the kids, we both took raising them ourselves very seriously so if one of us could be with them, we always did just that. Bellamy was five and Clarke was four..."   
Jaha waited patiently and then only after several moments did Abby speak again.   
"Marcus and I hadn't had much time together, we barely saw each other. I found out that my last two appointments were canceled and I was going to get to go home and spend time with my kids and my husband..."   
Jaha watched as her eyes began to tear up.   
"Did you go home?"   
She nodded.   
"I was on my way there when I called him; I called my husband..."   
She laid her face on her knees as if she couldn't continue.   
"Marcus why don't you tell me what happened."   
He was staring at Abby, wishing he could change the past and knowing full well that he never could.   
"Bellamy and Clarke were in the pool. I heard the phone ring in the house and I ran to get it...I shouldn't have gone in."   
Marcus' eyes appeared to focus on something across the room as he found himself back at that day.  
"Marcus tell me what happened when you went inside."   
"I picked up the phone and it was Abby. She told me she was coming home...and um..."   
"And what, Mr. Kane?"   
Marcus shook his head.   
"We were flirting on the phone. I looked up and realized that Bellamy was in the house. I felt everything inside me freeze..."   
"Why did you freeze?"   
Marcus began to tremble.   
"Because I knew Clarke was alone. That I had left her alone...She hadn't taken to swimming the way that Bell had."   
He began to speak with a shaky voice as he found that he was having trouble continuing.   
"Abby?"   
She looked at Jaha who nodded for her to pick up the story.   
"I heard Marcus whisper our daughter's name and then he was yelling and I heard Bellamy ask his dad what was wrong."   
"Marcus, what happened after that?"   
He put both hands atop his head as he tried to speak.   
"She had on floaties. They were supposed to keep her above water. I ran out and she was at the bottom, face down. I jumped in... begging her to breathe...I put her on the picnic table…I'm a cop...I know how to help people...but…she...was…Clarke was blue."   
"Abby, what did you do after Marcus screamed?"   
"I rushed home…I called 9-1-1 from the cell and started speeding to get to Clarke."   
"How did you know to call the emergency number?"   
"I know my husband and I knew that something bad had taken place."  
"And what happened in the days remaining?"   
Both Marcus and Abby sat quietly.   
"Let's start with you, Marcus."   
He shook his head and then leaned his head back against the couch.   
"We had to make funeral arrangements, we had to bury our daughter."   
"I get that part, Marcus. I want to know about you. What took place with you?"   
Marcus looked at Jaha.   
"I don't understand the question."   
"I think you do. How did you feel?"   
"I was sad." The answer was sarcastic.   
"I would imagine so, but how did you feel about yourself?"   
Abby watched Marcus as he ran his hands down his face before his hands fell hard atop of his knees.   
"I had to watch my wife fall apart and watch my son go into a state of confusion. I had to call my mother and tell her that Clarke was gone. Not to mention all the neighbors and all the comments about how I was a bad father. How do you think I felt?"   
Jaha nodded slowly.   
"I don't know how you felt, I have never been through the loss of a child. Please, Marcus, tell me how you felt."   
"I let my family down! I left my daughter alone so that I could tell my wife that I missed her and wanted to have sex with her. How do you think I felt? I killed my own child!"   
As quickly as he began to yell, he stopped and dug the heel of his hands into the sockets of his eyes.   
"Abby? Do you blame Marcus?"   
She shook her head as she watched her husband.   
"Not even a little bit. I never blamed him."   
Abby was crying as she thought of Marcus and how the guilt that he never should have had to hold all on his own had torn them apart.   
"Did you blame anyone?"   
"I blamed myself. I blamed myself for calling my husband and saying the things I did to him that distracted him from Clarke."   
Marcus turned his head from where it had been on the back of the couch so that he could look at her. For the first time they made eye contact and it wasn't filled with anger. He was really listening to her as she spoke.   
"It wasn't your fault, Abby."   
Somehow hearing his words made her break. Abby knew the things she had said that day to him on the phone, the things that a woman wouldn't say to a man unless she was in love with him. Things that embarrassed her now because that same man had never touched her one time after that day. So, of course, it was her fault, of course, he had blamed her. And now he was telling her it wasn't her fault. And again, for the second time that day, Abby found herself crying. She buried her face in her hands and allowed the tears to fall.   
Feeling Marcus's arms slide around her shocked her, a small gasp escaped her at the sure shock of it. She didn't fight him; Abby would never fight him. Marcus didn't think twice about it. He knew guilt, he wore it like a second skin and the thought of Abby living with it as well was too much for him. So, it wasn't a choice to slide across the couch and pull her to him, the second her head hit his chest, she gripped the front of his black t-shirt in her hands. For the first time in nearly two years, he held his wife.   
Jaha stood.   
"I will see the two of you in the morning. Good night."   
The man let himself out as Marcus had one hand softly in Abby's hair and the other on her back.   
"I never blamed you, Abby. I only blamed myself."   
She shook her head against him.   
"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't. I know we can't ever get back to where we were, Marcus. We can't go on acting like we hate each other."   
"I don't hate you."   
"Marcus...you don't even come out on your porch when I pick up the kids."   
"It was too hard to know that you had moved on with someone else, Abby."   
She laughed a sad little laugh.   
"I didn't move on. I know you don't believe me but that kiss with Jake meant nothing. I came to you because I didn't want anything in between us and I..."   
"And you what?"   
She shook her head and then released herself from the warmth of her husband's arms. Marcus instantly missed her.   
"Never mind..."   
"Abby?"   
He had stood up and gently grabbed her arm, pulling him back to her. They were eye to eye.   
"It doesn't matter."   
"Please?"   
She was firmly pressed against him, there was a part of her that was sure he would kiss her and she would be lying if she didn't say that she desperately wanted him to. His breath was against her face and God she had missed those scotch laced kisses.   
"Why Diana, Marcus?"   
"Because I thought it would make me feel better."   
"Did it make you feel better?"   
The question only slightly shocked him; in a way, he knew that she would ask. His eyes traveled down to her lips before looking her squarely in the eye. His hand still gripping her arm as he held her in place.   
"No..."   
He said it in a whisper.   
"Abby, it didn't make me feel better at all. It made me feel worse."   
It relieved her to hear that. It helped to know that he didn't love the woman that had been Abby's enemy for most of her life.   
"Was she the only one?"   
"Yes, the only one. Only one time. I didn't allow it again after that."   
She was aware that his breathing had completely changed. Abby wished it didn't turn her on so much. It was so confusing to be talking about this with him, and want him so much at the same time. Marcus wanted to kiss her, to drag her down on the couch, and yet he wouldn't not without knowing where they stood and he knew that would be a long conversation that she looked too tired to have.   
"That helps to know. But why her?"   
He shook his head.   
"I was drinking, she showed up at my house late at night. It happened. Abby, she didn't even stay afterward, I didn't let her. I didn't want her to. I felt awful after..."   
She could see that he was telling the truth.   
"One-night stands has never been your thing."   
His eyes were dark and heavy, she knew that look. She wished she was brave enough to ask him to kiss her and yet after everything she couldn't find the courage.   
"No, Abby, it hasn't. What were you going to say before? You came to me to tell me about the kiss and something else."   
"I told you because...."   
He let go of her when she tugged her arm. Abby knew It was going to make her too vulnerable once she told him. So, instead, he watched as she walked to her room.   
"Abby?"   
She ran her shaky hands over her hair, stopping just outside her bedroom door. Finally, her brown eyes shot to his caramel-colored ones.   
"I had hoped you would be jealous and that maybe you would want me again."   
and then she disappeared into her room and shut the door.

to be continued…


End file.
